I was minding my business, listening to Any Crown. Just trying to get some bad vibes off of me...and guess what. The Devil takes many forms...but it is always the Devil. (The Tudors)
There has GOT to be a special hot corner of hell for selfish "fathers".
Once again, summer is here and my son is off to New York with my EX WIFE. Yes I call him an EX WIFE. Because there was nothing HUSBANDLY about him and there is nothing FATHER like about him NOW.
I mean, year after year, holiday after holiday, it's the same thing. And I am TIRED. I have my children nine months out of the year- my daughter sometimes longer. I make sure my children are involved in some kind of activity. Most of them after school. Boy Scouts, football, basketball, the girl volunteers HER weekend time to help out with the youth in the community. On a Saturday she wants to go to the library or a CAREER FAIR. And as being a MOTHER. A MOM. MOMMY. I make sure he gets where he has to go, if I am not able to pick him up, someone in my SUPPORT SYSTEM, my VILLAGE makes sure he gets where he has to go if work conflicts with their schedules. I was blessed to have a young man from my church (shout out Jarrin R.) that picks him up FAITHFULLY every Wednesday and brings him to meetings, texts me every time he has a camp out and reminds me the list of things he will need for trips because he knows my mind is preoccupied with SIX BILLION other concerns and I am TIRED. Jarrin works I dont know how many jobs, but he still makes that time on Wednesdays. He gets excited when all the reports come back on Chanz's achievements. Does your sorry tail know that Chanz actually saved a young child from falling off a ledge, that he was the first one IN, the first OBSERVANT SCOUT on the hike? And didnt think about HIMSELF?
My son will grow to be a BETTER MAN than you could ever dream to be.
Chanz LOVES Boy Scouts. He is PROUD to be a Tender Foot and wants to advance. (I still think it should be called Thunder Foot...) He has to attend a summer camp for ONE WEEK. ONE WEEK out of an entire summer he gets to spend with his father. And you mean to tell me your LAME DEPENDENT GOD-LESS waste of GENETICS SELF wont let him ENJOY HIS SUMMER FOR ONE WEEK. You guilt him and use his INNOCENCE against him and he feels BAD for you so he agrees to STAY with you. That is the EPITOME of selfishness.
And you WOULD THINK after THIRTEEN YEARS that this boy has been on the planet, he would have it figured out by now just what being a FATHER is about? Not a weekly child support check, not the holidays when you want to strut your BOY around. Chanz shouldnt even have your last NAME. I SURELY DIDNT TAKE IT. I guess not when figuring out that being a "MAN" at the ripe age of 45 you are still at home with your mother in your tight little corner of a bedroom of ignorant cheap blue paint bliss.Talk about being caught between a rock and a hard place, your "space" is between your mother and your decrepid creepy UNCLE. Yes. RONALD CRAIG MITCHELL. I am talking about YOU. Just make sure when youre playing sleepover with my son- he doesnt find your creepy porn magazines in the bottom of your dressser drawers on the left hand side.
I am so sick and TIRED of excuses, excuses and WEAK MEN. Oh you live so far. Guess what. God allowed man to have this great little invention called A VEHICLE. Stop borrowing your mother's ....stop RENTING ONE and get your OWN. Learn how to use a BUS by all means. I made my bed 13 yrs ago, 14 years ago. And guess what? I lay in it. I love in it. I have GREAT KIDS...GREAT TEENS... I dont regret having them at all. But MY GOD.
Enough is enough.
Do I drag my ex husband back into a judicial system that doesnt hold him accountable to anything but a weekly garnishment and promise of a police escort when legally I cant take my own SON myself without it be being considered KIDNAPPING? Do I wait on the Highest court to render judgement?
By the way....Happy Father's Day to you MEN who think of your children FIRST. Who stay home with your FAMILIES. The ones that DO NOT MAKE EXCUSES and feel the world owes them ANYTHING and sits around with A DOLLAR AND A DREAM. Who puts their children's needs above YOURS..... Who dont believe that sending that SUPPORT all year is TAKING CARE OF YOUR CHILD.
Friday, June 18, 2010
Pardon Me...I think your tampon string is showing...
Sunday, May 23, 2010
An Emotionally Jaded Outlook at Bella's Decision....
Allow me to ramble a bit and kick this blog out before the 'Tylenol I need a good PM of sleep kicks in.' Gotta take a hot shower and prepare for what is going to be a (welcoming) long week.
(If you havent read the Twilight series- just skip this entry....)
In a nutshell, what on Earth was Bella thinking taking Edward back?
Sure---- he is timeless, old school, romantic and oh let's not forget the great part- he glitters in the sun! *bling*
Vegetarian or not- he's a freaking VAMPIRE. And after allllllll the changes he put her through, even making good on saving her life after she rushed to save HIS- let's not forget the epic heartwrenching scene, where if you connected to these characters - you bawled for Bella's pain (like I did) during the "I'm no good for you, my brother may try to rip your throat out again if you get another papercut or suck your band aid" speech that left her emotionally and physically crippled for a hot minute there.... (Ladies if the man...I am sorry- vampire tells you who he is, BELIEVE HIM. 0_O)
Stone cold.
Enter bff wolf Jacob. Jacob is caring, a real friend, not filthy rich because he didnt have 200 years and a sister to predict the stock market- WARM & HOT, and Bella did not have to change one BIT of herself in order to be with him. I would have suggested she take up sewing for all the clothes he would rip out of attempting to protect her and spazzing into an oversized German Shephard. Willing to fight for and with her until her 'heart stops beating'? Instead of giving a 'I cant live in this world without you in it' suicide threat...lame for a entity that was chilling for 200 years before she showed up... Where do they do that at?
RIGHT! Only in FORKS!
And Bella goes trapsying back to Edward each and everytime.
Foolish!
Let me take a crack at rewriting the story.
Bella saves Edward from the Volturi. Just for old times sake. (If she was really Gangster her first reaction to Alice asking for her help would be a letter saying hey I'm alive dude....and wishing her luck getting it to him.)
She flies back to Forks, gets some sleep, calls Jacob back up, asks can we pick up on where we left off after the phone rang that crushed our groove and ended me up in the Volturi lair almost as dessert.
The Wolf pack gets rid of the red haired wench and her army.
Bella and Jacob get married in simple Quielete wedding on the reservation and and invite Edward to be the best man.
Bella and Jacob live happily ever after following the start on their love child litter. And certainly Jacob moves out of his Dad's SHACK. Gets a job with GM and builds real cars.
End of story...
June 3oth at the midnight showing of Eclipse ----I am rocking a TEAM JACOB shirt! That's right! I said it and I mean it! Edward can keep his cold I cant kiss you I might kill you kisses!
Give me Jacob....warm, warm, wrap those look like bad boy motorcycle football player like arms around and can kiss me 'til he turns wolfy Jacob.
I feel better already. Brain doesnt feel like it has a heartbeat!
Off to my hotshower and dreams of choking the life out of Ms. I dreamt of a glittering vampire in the field and now I will fill all of your heads with dreams of gruesome grandeurism clothed in glittering marble 200 year old cold skin!
Bond. Out.
(If you havent read the Twilight series- just skip this entry....)
In a nutshell, what on Earth was Bella thinking taking Edward back?
Sure---- he is timeless, old school, romantic and oh let's not forget the great part- he glitters in the sun! *bling*
Vegetarian or not- he's a freaking VAMPIRE. And after allllllll the changes he put her through, even making good on saving her life after she rushed to save HIS- let's not forget the epic heartwrenching scene, where if you connected to these characters - you bawled for Bella's pain (like I did) during the "I'm no good for you, my brother may try to rip your throat out again if you get another papercut or suck your band aid" speech that left her emotionally and physically crippled for a hot minute there.... (Ladies if the man...I am sorry- vampire tells you who he is, BELIEVE HIM. 0_O)
Stone cold.
Enter bff wolf Jacob. Jacob is caring, a real friend, not filthy rich because he didnt have 200 years and a sister to predict the stock market- WARM & HOT, and Bella did not have to change one BIT of herself in order to be with him. I would have suggested she take up sewing for all the clothes he would rip out of attempting to protect her and spazzing into an oversized German Shephard. Willing to fight for and with her until her 'heart stops beating'? Instead of giving a 'I cant live in this world without you in it' suicide threat...lame for a entity that was chilling for 200 years before she showed up... Where do they do that at?
RIGHT! Only in FORKS!
And Bella goes trapsying back to Edward each and everytime.
Foolish!
Let me take a crack at rewriting the story.
Bella saves Edward from the Volturi. Just for old times sake. (If she was really Gangster her first reaction to Alice asking for her help would be a letter saying hey I'm alive dude....and wishing her luck getting it to him.)
She flies back to Forks, gets some sleep, calls Jacob back up, asks can we pick up on where we left off after the phone rang that crushed our groove and ended me up in the Volturi lair almost as dessert.
The Wolf pack gets rid of the red haired wench and her army.
Bella and Jacob get married in simple Quielete wedding on the reservation and and invite Edward to be the best man.
Bella and Jacob live happily ever after following the start on their love child litter. And certainly Jacob moves out of his Dad's SHACK. Gets a job with GM and builds real cars.
End of story...
June 3oth at the midnight showing of Eclipse ----I am rocking a TEAM JACOB shirt! That's right! I said it and I mean it! Edward can keep his cold I cant kiss you I might kill you kisses!
Give me Jacob....warm, warm, wrap those look like bad boy motorcycle football player like arms around and can kiss me 'til he turns wolfy Jacob.
I feel better already. Brain doesnt feel like it has a heartbeat!
Off to my hotshower and dreams of choking the life out of Ms. I dreamt of a glittering vampire in the field and now I will fill all of your heads with dreams of gruesome grandeurism clothed in glittering marble 200 year old cold skin!
Bond. Out.
Wednesday, April 28, 2010
BS Recession
The question of the day it seems after reading my first entry is "Why aren't you married? You seem like the perfect woman!"
So I will address this question, answering in full detail no holds barred only ONCE. Got it? Get it? Good. I am one who tires of repetitive statements.
Answer: I don't know! And I am NOT perfect.
Now I have ventured down the marital green mile in my early twenties. My son's father and I dated for a few years and we headed to the courthouse to make it official. Circumstances and events ended that marriage before I even made the decision to legally change my name in the government way. There was no love lost in that divorce and it was the best decision I could have made for my sanity and physical well being.
Why havent I done it again?
I hit the dating scene and let a few good ones go as I was very self centered, immature and not ready to become Mrs. again anytime soon. However, in keeping an open mind at the time- I dated beneath my worth as a lot of young women will do, especially when you do not recognise the greatness in yourself that God has placed, that others will. Some are attracted to it and will compliment your swag, others with try to take it away from you. Hell... even in recent years-I still have been found guilty of the settling sin.
I've dated the "not so attractive but hes nice", the "I'm down on my luck but looking for a job", "I still live at home with my moms but I have goals girl", "the no I dont pick up books but I'm fascinated and yet intimadated by your mind", "the cornball", "the good friend", "emotionally unstable damn near clinically bipolar" types. Ha, I have even gone out of my race. I didnt discriminate.
And one by one, these men revealed what position they were to play in my life. Reason, Season or Lifetime. Not all ended bad. But what is there really good about an ending? I almost took that leap of faith into marriage about 5 or 6 years ago. I've healed from that hurt so well, I can barely see the scars or give you an actual timeframe. He was someone I dated as a teenager. I thought he was safe. A friend. A good friend. Someone I spent countless summer hours with and any free time I was allowed out of the house. Long story short he came looking for me, courted and got engaged within-no lie- 3 months. We had a good relationship, one that I figured, FINALLY, I can lay down these walls, trust someone, and give 1000% into this relationship. And why shouldnt I have? He was a friend first right? We talked, we laughed, we cried, he was proud to introduce ME as his fiance, it was me and him against the world. And he was ready to COMMIT. Jackpot! We had problems, nothing major, nothing that communicating or his mother (:0) couldnt fix.
God, unfortunately at the time was nowhere in the midst or in the foundation. Months into the relationship , what we like to call "intuition", God start poking at me-tapping me on my shoulder. There was something wrong here. And when the intangible starts manifesting with the tangible...ET needs to phone home. I had not an ounce of solid proof- just discomfort. I remember praying about it. I asked God simply, "God. I love this man but if he is not the one you have meant for me, I need you to remove him out of my life. I dont have the strength to do it."
One week later...to the day of that prayer.
He left his email open on my computer, his birthday, instead of shutting down- he just powered off the monitor. As I went to check MY email I realized what was in front of me. I had the keys to the kingdom. At first EBONY hesitated, thinking 'I trust this man, I dont need to go through his email.' Jane Bond immediately overruled and spoke loudly. "You want answers, you can have them. If you find nothing- apologize for invading his privacy- better yet, dont even mention it.'
I went straight for his sent box. (Never go to the inbox. The inbox is way more maintained than the sent. And if you have something to hide- set your email so that there is not a paper trail of what you have sent.) And lo and behold, what did we have here. Messages to his hood rat's sidekick. Now she may have had something going for herself, I dont know- all I took away from the conversation with her was that she knew of me, knew we were engaged, and that it was just a sexual extracurricular relationship that she'd had with him for a few years.
Hmm. (Insert lots of screaming, yelling, vase throwing, get the hell out of my house the wedding is OFF here.) And lets not get into the whole "why are the jumpoffs so UNATTRACTIVE storyline..."
After a few weeks of bed ridden, sobbing, cant eat- cant sleep, just make it go AWAY woe is me....I actually met up with him, and it was goodbye. A small part of me wanted to chalk it up and take one for the team. However - everything happens for a reason, right? I mean there were series of negative nasty events that took place afterwards that just opened my eyes to what I almost ALMOST allowed to become a permanent factor in my life.
Ask and you shall receive.
I let prayer, time and friends take it's course on me, gave God all the broken pieces of my heart, He being the great physician can fix it all IF you give it all back to Him.
There were interests that were and remain hardly worth mentioning simply due to the fact, they were, as my friend Candyce would say, "emotional vampires". The parasite of a man who has an agenda. He appears smooth talking, with promises of devotion, will put the representative on in full pristine package mode and suck you dry emotionally, spiritually, AND financially if you let them.
And then came the summer of 2009 when I met my "significant other." Still angry, a bit jaded...but healing. He swept me off my feet initially. He was a breath of fresh air. The honeymoon phase wore off and both of our REAL personalities emerged. The real work began. He is not perfect, there are things I would change about him- there are things I absolutely detest about him. As I am sure there are in me. I know my faults. I am agressive- yet passive. I allow things to build up to a point where it becomes fatally explosive...it takes something dead wrong to get me to that point. I DEMAND loyalty to the team and to the cause. I DEMAND respect and fideltiy. Not that those are bad traits- you either step up to the mic or let someone handle it.
So almost a year (and not a consecutive one lol) into this investment, I am now checking the emotional growth portfolio and have it placed under a strict probationary period as to whether it is worth continuing into on a grand scale. Yes, I use the analogy of an investment because thats what relationships are. I would not buy stock or trade in a company that doesnt help increase my assets, why should I do so in a relationship? Sometimes "love" is just NOT enough. I dont come to a shoot out with a knife. I dont need you taking the gleam away from my DIAMOND because stones are common and easy. I'll keep you posted on whethere or not the company is back on the market. Soon. *wink*
I've already sent up the similar prayer- and trust me, the Father ALWAYS answers, you just have to be prepared to receive it.
Yes, the BS recession is in FULL effect and it does WONDERS for my emotional economy.
Dig it-it's deep.... keep on concentrating.
Kel Spencer says it best, "I am the fence- my grass is ALWAYS green."
Now with that being said- let's move right along in this journey.
Welcome. You have been warned.
bjb
So I will address this question, answering in full detail no holds barred only ONCE. Got it? Get it? Good. I am one who tires of repetitive statements.
Answer: I don't know! And I am NOT perfect.
Now I have ventured down the marital green mile in my early twenties. My son's father and I dated for a few years and we headed to the courthouse to make it official. Circumstances and events ended that marriage before I even made the decision to legally change my name in the government way. There was no love lost in that divorce and it was the best decision I could have made for my sanity and physical well being.
Why havent I done it again?
I hit the dating scene and let a few good ones go as I was very self centered, immature and not ready to become Mrs. again anytime soon. However, in keeping an open mind at the time- I dated beneath my worth as a lot of young women will do, especially when you do not recognise the greatness in yourself that God has placed, that others will. Some are attracted to it and will compliment your swag, others with try to take it away from you. Hell... even in recent years-I still have been found guilty of the settling sin.
I've dated the "not so attractive but hes nice", the "I'm down on my luck but looking for a job", "I still live at home with my moms but I have goals girl", "the no I dont pick up books but I'm fascinated and yet intimadated by your mind", "the cornball", "the good friend", "emotionally unstable damn near clinically bipolar" types. Ha, I have even gone out of my race. I didnt discriminate.
And one by one, these men revealed what position they were to play in my life. Reason, Season or Lifetime. Not all ended bad. But what is there really good about an ending? I almost took that leap of faith into marriage about 5 or 6 years ago. I've healed from that hurt so well, I can barely see the scars or give you an actual timeframe. He was someone I dated as a teenager. I thought he was safe. A friend. A good friend. Someone I spent countless summer hours with and any free time I was allowed out of the house. Long story short he came looking for me, courted and got engaged within-no lie- 3 months. We had a good relationship, one that I figured, FINALLY, I can lay down these walls, trust someone, and give 1000% into this relationship. And why shouldnt I have? He was a friend first right? We talked, we laughed, we cried, he was proud to introduce ME as his fiance, it was me and him against the world. And he was ready to COMMIT. Jackpot! We had problems, nothing major, nothing that communicating or his mother (:0) couldnt fix.
God, unfortunately at the time was nowhere in the midst or in the foundation. Months into the relationship , what we like to call "intuition", God start poking at me-tapping me on my shoulder. There was something wrong here. And when the intangible starts manifesting with the tangible...ET needs to phone home. I had not an ounce of solid proof- just discomfort. I remember praying about it. I asked God simply, "God. I love this man but if he is not the one you have meant for me, I need you to remove him out of my life. I dont have the strength to do it."
One week later...to the day of that prayer.
He left his email open on my computer, his birthday, instead of shutting down- he just powered off the monitor. As I went to check MY email I realized what was in front of me. I had the keys to the kingdom. At first EBONY hesitated, thinking 'I trust this man, I dont need to go through his email.' Jane Bond immediately overruled and spoke loudly. "You want answers, you can have them. If you find nothing- apologize for invading his privacy- better yet, dont even mention it.'
I went straight for his sent box. (Never go to the inbox. The inbox is way more maintained than the sent. And if you have something to hide- set your email so that there is not a paper trail of what you have sent.) And lo and behold, what did we have here. Messages to his hood rat's sidekick. Now she may have had something going for herself, I dont know- all I took away from the conversation with her was that she knew of me, knew we were engaged, and that it was just a sexual extracurricular relationship that she'd had with him for a few years.
Hmm. (Insert lots of screaming, yelling, vase throwing, get the hell out of my house the wedding is OFF here.) And lets not get into the whole "why are the jumpoffs so UNATTRACTIVE storyline..."
After a few weeks of bed ridden, sobbing, cant eat- cant sleep, just make it go AWAY woe is me....I actually met up with him, and it was goodbye. A small part of me wanted to chalk it up and take one for the team. However - everything happens for a reason, right? I mean there were series of negative nasty events that took place afterwards that just opened my eyes to what I almost ALMOST allowed to become a permanent factor in my life.
Ask and you shall receive.
I let prayer, time and friends take it's course on me, gave God all the broken pieces of my heart, He being the great physician can fix it all IF you give it all back to Him.
There were interests that were and remain hardly worth mentioning simply due to the fact, they were, as my friend Candyce would say, "emotional vampires". The parasite of a man who has an agenda. He appears smooth talking, with promises of devotion, will put the representative on in full pristine package mode and suck you dry emotionally, spiritually, AND financially if you let them.
And then came the summer of 2009 when I met my "significant other." Still angry, a bit jaded...but healing. He swept me off my feet initially. He was a breath of fresh air. The honeymoon phase wore off and both of our REAL personalities emerged. The real work began. He is not perfect, there are things I would change about him- there are things I absolutely detest about him. As I am sure there are in me. I know my faults. I am agressive- yet passive. I allow things to build up to a point where it becomes fatally explosive...it takes something dead wrong to get me to that point. I DEMAND loyalty to the team and to the cause. I DEMAND respect and fideltiy. Not that those are bad traits- you either step up to the mic or let someone handle it.
So almost a year (and not a consecutive one lol) into this investment, I am now checking the emotional growth portfolio and have it placed under a strict probationary period as to whether it is worth continuing into on a grand scale. Yes, I use the analogy of an investment because thats what relationships are. I would not buy stock or trade in a company that doesnt help increase my assets, why should I do so in a relationship? Sometimes "love" is just NOT enough. I dont come to a shoot out with a knife. I dont need you taking the gleam away from my DIAMOND because stones are common and easy. I'll keep you posted on whethere or not the company is back on the market. Soon. *wink*
I've already sent up the similar prayer- and trust me, the Father ALWAYS answers, you just have to be prepared to receive it.
Yes, the BS recession is in FULL effect and it does WONDERS for my emotional economy.
Dig it-it's deep.... keep on concentrating.
Kel Spencer says it best, "I am the fence- my grass is ALWAYS green."
Now with that being said- let's move right along in this journey.
Welcome. You have been warned.
bjb
Tuesday, April 27, 2010
Them Men Do Get Weary....So Try A Little Tenderness....
Here I am again, attempting to jump back in the groove of blogging. It's been a minute- but I (think?) I am back at it again.
What's on my mind tonight?
My heart is aching for a friend of mine who is such a good man, good husband and father. The kind of mate single women would snatch a strand of his DNA and wait patiently in order to clone him kind of man. Now, you skeptical females may ask "Why arent you with him if he's so wonderful?" "How do you really know he's just not giving you his side of the story?" or the best one .."How do you know it's not a sob story to get some action on the side?" Ladies and Gents, if this was some random, average dude, doing average dude things- then I would have to be in complete agreement with those questions as the tale may be a possible underlying motive to have and justify an affair.
However he is not. I promise you.
With that said- let's go in.
I am going to keep this as blunt as possible.
Ladies if you have a good husband- be intimate with him. Often. You need clarification? Have. Sex. With. Him. Alot.
You have a man that fears God, works all day, pays all of the bills, takes care of the children, every need you could possibly have, prays with and for you, checks the worries of the world on the threshold of the home and walks in with a smile, you had better smile back. ESPECIALLY you stay at home wives. I am not saying that a stay at home wife does not have a job to perform, your work is equally taxing. However there is no reason under God's blue and infinite sky- that he should not come home to a warm dinner, an even warmer smile and greeting. In that alone- you have reaffirmed that everthing he has gone through the day has a valid reason.
His family.
And after all is said and done, dinner is done, homework checked, kids tucked away- it is time to perform your wifely duties and submit to his and YOUR needs. Your bedroom is your sanctuary, and you had better submit.
Now if you have good husband- and you follow these simple rules, leaving the doors of intimacy(communication, communication, COMMUNICATION, trust, reassurance, a solid foundation and love- I promise you sisters, your man wont look for anything greener and will sympathize with his buddies who cant have the marriage he has because unfortunately, you his Goddess, his Queen, is UNAVAILABLE. You are his virtous woman, and your worth is FAR beyond rubies.
This is not applicable for a wordly man just looking to achieve his next conquest, does not have a spiritual foundation and believes that the grass is greener elsewhere, or just has a lust for a hoodrat demon on him. Some men are just by the world's terms, happily single. Leave him BE. A straight up No ma'am is sufficient. You have to leave those specimens to God to work on.
Now you know how to keep your husbands, not your Tiger Woods, home.
However, if you do not follow these simple applications. Let me tell you what WILL happen.
That attractive single/her man isnt treating her right/looking for a sponsor woman who smiles a little too warmly at him, advises him that she would never treat him that way, will lead to exchange of numbers, conversations that get a little passionate, and Lord knows, the internet has left too many options avaible - a buffet for a suffering, starving man, to find someone who YOU as his wife...should be adhering to. You have handed your husband, although it is adultery, a green card to cheat.
By no means do I condone stepping out of the marriage. It is a SIN. Period. HOWEVER you have now set up situation that may become hard to get out of. If the affair and your frigid ways have gone on too long? Your husband may give every romantic, sexual, and emotional notion to a woman, when it is rightfully YOURS. But YOU did not do your part. So now she falls madly in love with YOUR husband, she receives the getaway rendevous (your vacation) flower, cards, and jewelry. All the things he initially wanted to do for you.
And when you notice the new pep in his step, the new cologne, the new clothing, and he is NOW not bothering you at all for the intimacy he once direly craved from YOU - what do you do now? In some cases, the affair may not have gone that far along and your marriage can be saved- but sometimes, the man will cut his losses financially, pay his child support and see the kids on the weekends and holidays- but you are now out of a good husband- a commodity that is rare today, and the one God blessed you with.
Sucks doesnt it? It could have been avoided....
In closing, ladies, I flip the Otis Redding original classic, please understand- them good men do get weary....
So try a little ...tenderness.
What's on my mind tonight?
My heart is aching for a friend of mine who is such a good man, good husband and father. The kind of mate single women would snatch a strand of his DNA and wait patiently in order to clone him kind of man. Now, you skeptical females may ask "Why arent you with him if he's so wonderful?" "How do you really know he's just not giving you his side of the story?" or the best one .."How do you know it's not a sob story to get some action on the side?" Ladies and Gents, if this was some random, average dude, doing average dude things- then I would have to be in complete agreement with those questions as the tale may be a possible underlying motive to have and justify an affair.
However he is not. I promise you.
With that said- let's go in.
I am going to keep this as blunt as possible.
Ladies if you have a good husband- be intimate with him. Often. You need clarification? Have. Sex. With. Him. Alot.
You have a man that fears God, works all day, pays all of the bills, takes care of the children, every need you could possibly have, prays with and for you, checks the worries of the world on the threshold of the home and walks in with a smile, you had better smile back. ESPECIALLY you stay at home wives. I am not saying that a stay at home wife does not have a job to perform, your work is equally taxing. However there is no reason under God's blue and infinite sky- that he should not come home to a warm dinner, an even warmer smile and greeting. In that alone- you have reaffirmed that everthing he has gone through the day has a valid reason.
His family.
And after all is said and done, dinner is done, homework checked, kids tucked away- it is time to perform your wifely duties and submit to his and YOUR needs. Your bedroom is your sanctuary, and you had better submit.
Now if you have good husband- and you follow these simple rules, leaving the doors of intimacy(communication, communication, COMMUNICATION, trust, reassurance, a solid foundation and love- I promise you sisters, your man wont look for anything greener and will sympathize with his buddies who cant have the marriage he has because unfortunately, you his Goddess, his Queen, is UNAVAILABLE. You are his virtous woman, and your worth is FAR beyond rubies.
This is not applicable for a wordly man just looking to achieve his next conquest, does not have a spiritual foundation and believes that the grass is greener elsewhere, or just has a lust for a hoodrat demon on him. Some men are just by the world's terms, happily single. Leave him BE. A straight up No ma'am is sufficient. You have to leave those specimens to God to work on.
Now you know how to keep your husbands, not your Tiger Woods, home.
However, if you do not follow these simple applications. Let me tell you what WILL happen.
That attractive single/her man isnt treating her right/looking for a sponsor woman who smiles a little too warmly at him, advises him that she would never treat him that way, will lead to exchange of numbers, conversations that get a little passionate, and Lord knows, the internet has left too many options avaible - a buffet for a suffering, starving man, to find someone who YOU as his wife...should be adhering to. You have handed your husband, although it is adultery, a green card to cheat.
By no means do I condone stepping out of the marriage. It is a SIN. Period. HOWEVER you have now set up situation that may become hard to get out of. If the affair and your frigid ways have gone on too long? Your husband may give every romantic, sexual, and emotional notion to a woman, when it is rightfully YOURS. But YOU did not do your part. So now she falls madly in love with YOUR husband, she receives the getaway rendevous (your vacation) flower, cards, and jewelry. All the things he initially wanted to do for you.
And when you notice the new pep in his step, the new cologne, the new clothing, and he is NOW not bothering you at all for the intimacy he once direly craved from YOU - what do you do now? In some cases, the affair may not have gone that far along and your marriage can be saved- but sometimes, the man will cut his losses financially, pay his child support and see the kids on the weekends and holidays- but you are now out of a good husband- a commodity that is rare today, and the one God blessed you with.
Sucks doesnt it? It could have been avoided....
In closing, ladies, I flip the Otis Redding original classic, please understand- them good men do get weary....
So try a little ...tenderness.
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